The Naming

A Complaint Masquerading as a 'Bear with a Writer' Comic

The Writer Worm

Oct 25, 2023

Panel 1: Writer Worm and Bear are stretched out comfortably on their bean bags when Bear suddenly turns to Worm, "You know, we've been friends for a while now. Still, I don't know what to call you besides 'Writer Worm'..." Worm nods sagely, "And you definitely need a better name than just 'Bear'."

Panel 2: Worm and Bear both turn to glare across at you, dear reader. "I totally blame our Creator for not giving us decent names," Worm frowns. "It's unbelievable what a no-good slacker she is!" Bear makes a face, "Brainless as a jellyfish too. Mm-hmm."

Panel 3: "Bah! Who needs her?" Worm turns away in disgust. Her gaze alights on her most prized possession, her wall-to-floor bookcase. A twinkle creeps into her eye. "We can find ourselves awesome names from our favourite books!"

Panel 4: A while later, we see Worm and Bear engrossed in their respective books. Worm's eyes are still glued to her book's pages as she calls out, "Hey, Bear, find anything?" "Nope," Bear responds absently. "But I remembered just how much I love this book. It's epic!" "I hear you, dude," Worm sighs. "I hear you."

Note from Creator:

Oh? I'm a no-good slacker jellyfish-brain, am I? Creations are soo ungrateful, I tell you!

They should be thankful that I didn't forget to give them physical forms. They look this cute because I made them so. That doesn’t mean they get to make puppy-eyes at you, my readers, and turn you against me. I won’t have it! I…I can make puppy-eyes too! See? Well, okay, you can’t see me, but if you stick around, I’ll make puppy-eyes for you…someday.

And anyway, why are they cribbing about names? Those things are so bloody overrated. What's in a name? What’s in it, huh? Huh? It's a collection of vowels and consonants, just like any other word. Such a fuss over one capital letter!

Names are labels. We don't really need them because labels belong on jars not on people or...er, worms, or teddy bears.

You get my point, right? I knew you would. You’re such a smart, sympathetic reader.

So, I’ll stop for the day. Besides, I need some food. Hmmm…you know, the kind that has slices of bread with vegetables stuck between them, and maybe some sauces? What's that thing called again…?

If you can think of a name for the type of food I’m trying to order, please do tell me in the comments. I am rather hungry.

THE WRITER WORM

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